Aunt Bill Rambles

Somebody sent Billie a e-mail last week and they’se a talking about things we don’t never hear said no more.  I hadn’t thought about sich in ages, but atter she got this we got to talkin’ about things we don’t hear nowadays.

When have you here’d anybody say sumpin lack this?

Quit slammin’ that screen door.
I guess you’se raised in a jail wher they shut the door behind.
I forgot to wind the clock last night.
Don’t go outside with yore school clothes on — I believe you could get another wearing out of ’em.
If you go off and git drown-ed, I’ll wear you out!
Bring in some far wood and while you’re at it bring in stove wood, too.
Do you want me to git a switch?
I’ll whop you so hard you’ll just have enough hide to hold yore bones together
Come on and let’s go to the barn and do the night work.  The cow needs milkin’ and there’ll be corn to shuck.
Clean yore plate — there’s children starving to death in China
You need a purgative — I’ll fetch the Black Draught
I need a new brush broom — let’s go to the woods and git some saplin’s to make it with.
We got a new Sears and Roebuck today — take this old ‘un to the toilet — we’ll need it there.
Stop crossin’ yore eyes — they’ll git hung that a way.
Don’t hang upside down — yore liver will turn over.
Don’t let that toad frog pee on yore hand — you’ll have warts on hit

I bet y’all can thank of lots of other things yore ma and pa used to say to you.  This is how it used to be with country living.

Saying for day:  Whistin’ girls and crowin’ hens always come to some bad ends. (My ma wouldn’t let me whistle because of this sayin’)