The Days Following Mother’s Death

Guest writer:  Beth Littlejohn

Mother died Sunday afternoon and still Monday morning came.  I was at home when Mother died and asked Donna and Daddy if they thought it would be appropriate if I kept an eye appointment.  “Yes!” was the resounding reply.  Mother was a practical soul!  She would have wanted me to do the normal things.  After the appointment and the purchase of the new glasses that were required, I made one of the hardest drives of my life.

Monday evening at home was spent with Donna and Daddy.  It was calm and too peaceful.  We went to the funeral home and made all the necessary arrangements.  “What kind of flowers are you going to use?” was one of the many questions.  “No flowers!  Mother wanted a quilt covering her,” Donna firmly told the questioner.  Again Mother’s practicality came out.  Mother had her funeral almost completely planned.  Her pre-planning made our job so much more simply.  She had listed the music she wanted and a list of potential pallbearers.  From her list we easily found the correct number.  Thanks Mother for your thoughtfulness….again.

Tuesday morning arrived.  As usual, I was the first one up and went to stand on the porch to contemplate the day the its activities.  I must admit that I shed many tears standing on that porch on this particular day.  Sunrise came and I began to hear the day waking.  The frogs were still croaking in the pond; the birds were beginning to sing.  Why?  Did these creatures not know that my mother had died and this was inappropriate?  But wait….I felt a presence talking to me.  “This is normal” said the gentle voice, “It is time for you to find a new normal.  Yes, your mother has gone, but to a better place where you can be with her again.”

Tuesday evening brought visitation.  When we arrived at the funeral home we were escorted into the chapel where Mother lay in state.  We were greeted by many beautiful arrangements, but I was astounded by the beautiful red and white roses at the foot and head of the casket.  Thank you to that very special family from New York.  There are too many people to thank here, but know that all flowers, food, and tokens are appreciated and are held dear to us.   Many, many friends came and expressed their love for my mother, shared stories of their memories made with her, and their sympathies at the great loss we all were now having to suffer.

Wednesday was the longest day of my life.  Many friends of Mother and Daddy, Donna, and me came to the funeral at the First Methodist Church of Crossville.  The service was wonderful and we even shared some smiles and laughs.  The graveside service left a feeling of peace.  The church had dinner for us after the graveside service and we truly enjoyed the fellowship of the many friends and family.  There were many reunions that were special.

Thursday, today, is here.  Where is that “new normal”?  Today is difficult.  Daddy had an eye appointment.. normal.  The kitties needed flea treatment..a trip to Walmart…more normal.  Daddy and I had just come back from Gadsden when the beauty of God’s world exposed itself one more time.  The hummingbirds were at the feeder!  I did not have my camera ready.  Daddy stood and watched for the hummer to return.  He admonished me to have the camera ready.  I was standing just inside the porch door and got a number of pictures…finally!

I walked to the mailbox.  On my return trip I spotted a beauty.  I think this lovely is a spider lily.  If I am wrong, please let me know.  I am reminded that there is still beauty in the world and life goes on.

Thank you Chris for the exceptional video.  My family will treasure it always.

Death is a painful part of country living.