A New Language 1999

Computer language — it’s a whole new ball game for me.  Somebody sent me a list of country computer terms and I’ve rearranged some of the terms to fit my way of thinking.  I’m having about the same luck learning that I had a week ago (new computer), but maybe someday I’ll be educated and then there’s no telling what I’ll write about in the Country Living article.

Here’s the list — maybe this will help you learn about your magic machine:

Log On — To make far in wood stove hotter
Log Off  — Don’t add no more wood
Monitor – Keeping eye on the far
Download – Gettin’ wood off’n the wagin
Megahertz  – If’n ye ain’t kerful gettin’ the far wood of the wagin
Floppy Disc  – Watcha git fer tryin’ to tote too much far wood at one time
Ram  – When ye didn’t stop the truk in time
Hard Drive – Had a bad time tryin’ to git home
Prompt – What the mail ain’t in bad weather
Windows – What ye shut when hit’s cold weather
Screen – Put ‘um up to keep the flies out
Byte – what skeeters do
Chip – Munchies for TV (or any other time)
Micro Chop – What’s left in the bottom of the munchies sack
Modem – What John done to the hay fields
Dot Matrix  – Old Butch Matrix’s wife
Laptop – where the kitten sleeps
Keyboard – Where you hang the keys
Software – Plastic forks and knives.
Mouse –  What the cat catches
Main Frame – It holds the roof of the barn up
Port – Fancy wine
Enter  – Northerner talk for “Ya’ll come in”
Mouse Pad – That’s hippie talk fer the rat hole
Default – Sumpin’ you don’t want no part of
Server – She works in the café.